If you don’t live in a bubble or in some sort of false reality where everything is played out like a movie, you’d know that even the simplest of actions can turn into a mess, especially when it comes to something as intimate as sex. If you’re experienced in that facet of life you’d know that majority of sexual experiences are nothing like you see in the movies or in adult films and have the possibility of going left at any moment. With that being said, check out these awkward sex confessions and let us know if you can relate to any of these in the comment section.
Making love in a barnyard is fine in our book even making sounds of some of our favorite barnyard animals is alright as well, as long as things don’t go any further than that or any actual animals are involved. I guess you could say that this person was in the mooooood… Ok, that was corny.
Holding hands while making love is definitely a good look and expresses the ultimate amount of intimacy you can share with someone. On the other hand, no pun intended, holding your own hand during sex can either imply extreme boredom or the total opposite to the point you don’t even know what to do with your hands. Who knows…
The Text Message
Sometimes, getting it on can get a little noisy at times and that’s totally understandable. It shows that you and your partner are embracing one another and in the moment right then and there. Unfortunately, getting a ‘be quiet’ text from your partner’s parents in the next room is pretty embarrassing.
Protect That Cat
We understand that people have an unmeasurable amount of love for their pets but, for this young lady’s boyfriend to moan his cat’s name during sex, we find this type of dedication and thoughtfulness troubling. Should she be jealous or fearful for her significant other’s feline friend?
Gentlemen In The Street, Steven Seagal In The Sheets
Alright, now this just makes no damn sense whatsoever. How in the hell do you break someone’s arm while having sex? What kind of position were they in for this to be successfully achieved? Those were moans of pain, not pleasure… Lighten up on the MMA moves in the bedroom buddy.
May The Force Be With You
First and foremost, we’d like to applaud this confession for getting in some physical activity while sick, we recommend any type of cardiovascular blood flow when you’re not feeling well. And shout out to those that have perfected their Chewbacca impressions, it’s more difficult than you’d think.
Personally, we believe that answering the phone in the middle of a sex is a huge turn off unless, of course, it’s an emergency. But, can you imagine attempting to have a conversation with your father while in the midst of getting laid? Ugh, it’s cringe-worthy just thinking about it.
Alright, this is a case of knowing who you’re sleeping with. If your sexual partner isn’t into certain things such as dirty talk we recommend laying off of it until the deed is done. Plus those dirty talking sloth memes from a few years back, appear to be haunting people to this day.
KFCWe’ve all said some things during sex that we exactly didn’t articulate well or even think about before we blurted out but, yelling a KFC advertisement punchline in the midst of orgasm has got to take the cake. Nothing to be ashamed of, just try to save yourself from the embarrassment and just go with the classic ‘Oh, Yes!’, works every time.
Wigs + Sex = Fail
Ladies, you gotta start being more honest about your sew-ins, extensions, and wigs. Majority of us men are unaware of how these things work so, in the midst of getting down and dirty you might want to lose the wig before the hair pulling begins and we’re all in for a surprise. Please…
Reading Is Fundamental
This is very slick on the girlfriend’s part in order to protect her and her ex from suspicious parents but, how does this actually work? It should be nearly impossible to concentrate on a book if it’s an actual quality experience. Maybe that’s why that guy is her ex now, who knows.
Spinach In Your Teeth
Alright, fellas, if a young lady stops you in the midst of a sexual encounter in order to make sure your dental hygiene is adequate enough, you’re either not that great at having sex or something was in your teeth that was so distracting that she wasn’t going to go the distance if you know what we mean. Get it together, fellas.
Cramping is a real thing while doing the do, which is why recommend a good healthy stretch session before you dive between the sheets with your partner. Anyone can end up a victim, here male or female but, once that cramp settles in it’s like watching a horrible soccer injury as either one of you flops like a fish trying to massage out the pain. You can tell, we’ve been there.
Alright, this couple has to be pretty young in order to bust out singing the Pokemon theme in the middle of a lovemaking session but, to each his own and at least they shared this special moment together. We’re more of a Fresh Prince theme song singers in the midst of having sex crowd ourselves.
Hey, some people need snacks in the middle of their sexual encounters in order to keep their energy up. Do you want your partner to have low blood sugar while you’re making love, pass out, and watch their head bounce off the bedside table rendering themselves unconscious? No one wants to explain to a 911 operator how that happened…